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Tired of endless debate over important issues that actually matter? Then it’s time for Disneyland fans to imagine a dream line-up of theme park-related ballot initiatives instead.
Sit Down and Watch Act: Inspired by a visit to the Tokyo Disney Resort, this initiative would clear all local legal restrictions that prevent theme parks such as Disneyland from requiring guests to sit down on the street or sidewalk during parades and fireworks. No longer will anyone need to say, “down in front,” because everyone will be, making a clearer view of the show accessible to more park guests.
Spinal Protection Act: A companion initiative, this one is proposed a by group of time-traveling, backache-suffering Disneyland dads, returning to the future to bar fathers from putting their children on their shoulders to watch Disneyland parades and fireworks. If you can’t be considerate by not blocking the view of those behind you, this act will protect your future spinal health by banning kids on shoulders in the parks.
Shut Up and Ride Act: Also known as the “Stretch Room Silence Act,” this initiative will fine any guest, including live-streaming Internet influencers, for talking during any theme park ride or show. Spontaneous cheers and screams will be allowed, but barking at viewers to tap a like button while riding will result in joining Mr. Toad on a one-way trip to you-know-where.
Endangered Mascots Protection Act: This will empower fans to force theme parks to bring back long-forgotten characters by filing a discharge petition with state authorities. Gather enough signatures and you can force Six Flags Magic Mountain to bring back Bloop, Bleep and King Troll. With this act on the books, maybe Whittles would not have been lost for decades at Knott’s Berry Farm.
Respect the Rope Drop Act: The initiative will prohibit theme parks from opening virtual queues for a ride until that ride’s physical queue has been filled by guests. Parks also will be allowed to enroll a guest in a virtual queue only after they check in physically at the ride’s entrance. No more playing the lottery online at 7 a.m. If you want to get on a popular new ride, get up early and rope-drop it like the old days.
Fifty for Fairness Rule: This mandates that a theme park selling any form of line-skipping pass must reserve at least 50% of that ride’s hourly capacity for guests in a standby queue, if offered. The “50 for Fairness” rule effectively will limit the number of line-skip passes that a park can sell, making the standby wait bearable for those who don’t want to pay for these upcharges.
Half the Wait or All the Refund: For those who do, however, this initiative would ensure they get their money’s worth. Anyone buying a theme park’s line-skipping pass must wait on average less than half the time that persons in the standby queues waited, or else that guest is entitled to a full refund of the line-skipping pass price.
These initiatives might not be on the ballot, but I hope all theme park fans will remember to do their job as good citizens and vote by Nov. 5.
Tired of endless debate over important issues that actually matter? Then it’s time for Disneyland fans to imagine a dream line-up of theme park-related ballot initiatives instead.
Sit Down and Watch Act: Inspired by a visit to the Tokyo Disney Resort, this initiative would clear all local legal restrictions that prevent theme parks such as Disneyland from requiring guests to sit down on the street or sidewalk during parades and fireworks. No longer will anyone need to say, “down in front,” because everyone will be, making a clearer view of the show accessible to more park guests.
Spinal Protection Act: A companion initiative, this one is proposed a by group of time-traveling, backache-suffering Disneyland dads, returning to the future to bar fathers from putting their children on their shoulders to watch Disneyland parades and fireworks. If you can’t be considerate by not blocking the view of those behind you, this act will protect your future spinal health by banning kids on shoulders in the parks.
Shut Up and Ride Act: Also known as the “Stretch Room Silence Act,” this initiative will fine any guest, including live-streaming Internet influencers, for talking during any theme park ride or show. Spontaneous cheers and screams will be allowed, but barking at viewers to tap a like button while riding will result in joining Mr. Toad on a one-way trip to you-know-where.
Endangered Mascots Protection Act: This will empower fans to force theme parks to bring back long-forgotten characters by filing a discharge petition with state authorities. Gather enough signatures and you can force Six Flags Magic Mountain to bring back Bloop, Bleep and King Troll. With this act on the books, maybe Whittles would not have been lost for decades at Knott’s Berry Farm.
Respect the Rope Drop Act: The initiative will prohibit theme parks from opening virtual queues for a ride until that ride’s physical queue has been filled by guests. Parks also will be allowed to enroll a guest in a virtual queue only after they check in physically at the ride’s entrance. No more playing the lottery online at 7 a.m. If you want to get on a popular new ride, get up early and rope-drop it like the old days.
Fifty for Fairness Rule: This mandates that a theme park selling any form of line-skipping pass must reserve at least 50% of that ride’s hourly capacity for guests in a standby queue, if offered. The “50 for Fairness” rule effectively will limit the number of line-skip passes that a park can sell, making the standby wait bearable for those who don’t want to pay for these upcharges.
Half the Wait or All the Refund: For those who do, however, this initiative would ensure they get their money’s worth. Anyone buying a theme park’s line-skipping pass must wait on average less than half the time that persons in the standby queues waited, or else that guest is entitled to a full refund of the line-skipping pass price.
These initiatives might not be on the ballot, but I hope all theme park fans will remember to do their job as good citizens and vote by Nov. 5.
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It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English. Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy.
The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making
The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English. Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy.
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